We all have feelings of shame. It’s not something we're immune to, especially when the spotlight is on us. We’ll tell you where this emotion comes from, and whether there's a cure for it.
When was the last time you wanted the ground to open up and swallow you? All of us know what it’s like to feel shame. It’s always unpleasant, always deeply uncomfortable. Did you address a customer by the wrong name all evening? Did you stand on stage with your fly open? Like a never-ending déjà vu, the negative event becomes lodged in our memory and makes sure we are reminded of it over and over again.
Shame as an instrument of discipline
Whether – and how much – we feel ashamed of something depends largely on our social and cultural norms and expectations. in Asian culture, for example, a burp has a positive connotation, whereas here it’s considered inappropriate. The feeling of shame is not bad in itself. It has a disciplinary effect. It helps us to behave in a way that conforms to the society we live in, because we want to avoid the feeling of shame under all circumstances.
Would you like to learn more about the feeling of shame? Then listen to “RADAR – the Habegger Podcast” on this topic.
A blush is actually endearing
But what do we do when stress hormones make us blush? Unfortunately, the ground opening up and swallowing us is just a metaphorical option. And no pill or household remedy can help us. For some, a sip of water, or rearranging their thoughts promises some relief. But, hand on heart – most of the time, the situation is only a problem for ourselves. Those around us often don’t even notice the mishap, or they take our flushed cheeks as an endearing sign of authenticity. So: hang in there, keep going – and hope that the endless loop in your head will take a break.
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